Thank you!

I just posted but I decided to throw in another one. I just wanted to say thank you to all the people who have been following the blog and sending me those great comments/emails. I have them in a separate folder, so I tend to overlook a couple. If I haven't replied yours, just re-send it. Grazi! :)

That feeling?

You know that feeling where you know you've tried your hardest but you still aren't going anywhere? Well I hate that feeling and unfortunately, I feel it every day.
It applies to both school and marching band. For ex., in band, we practice constantly and Mr. C makes us march in the rain and all that jazz. It's quite tortuous and miserable, but he always tells us it'll be worth it in the end. Well in both competitions we've had so far, we haven't done as well as we should. We got last place in the first and 9th out of 18 in the second. I guess the second one was alright, but still. It'd be nice to get a higher rank.
And SCHOOL! My life has been constant studying, but my grades still aren't great. I'm sick of trying for no reason!
It'd be nice just to throw your hands in the air and give up. That'd be the easier way out, I suppose. That and suicide. Hmm. Ponder, ponder.

I hate everything about you!

I hate everything about you; why do I love you?
These are the words to one of my favorite "Three Days Grace" songs. This is a great song to listen to when you're extremely mad at someone and all you want to do is kill yourself (or the other person...ya never know). This is one of those few songs that will keep you sane and pumped at the same time.

I am the fucking titanic.

I am sinking. I feel myself sinking a little bit more every day, and I die just a smidge more as time goes on. At least the titanic just went down and stayed down. For me, the whole dying part is slow and unnecessarily drawn out. Each problem I face is just another bullet in the leg; it drags me down and puts me through excruciating pain, yet I'm unfortunately still alive.
The titanic didn't have a bunch of other annoying boats encouraging it to live. The people in my life who think they are helping me ARE NOT helping me. "Just keep going" and "I am here for you" and "You'll only have to put up with it a bit longer" are the phrases said by people who you end up hating the most. They have their happy lives and their cheerful smiles and they share buckets of laughter with their million handfuls of friends. They don't know what it's like. They don't know what it's like to feel hopeless, lonely, and empty. They don't see a disappointment in the mirror. They wake up...they head to work...maybe get a manicure. They know the people they love are suffering, but words will only get you so far.
I've stopped treading water and I've stopped scooping up my breaths. I am ready to sink into the depths of the unknown. The titanic was so fucking lucky.

Why can't we trust the same people anymore?

The moment you think you've found someone that you can trust, they bail on you. Then they think they can just make up for it by saying "sorry." Haven't people figured out by now that "sorry" doesn't mean the same thing it used to? There's no point apologizing if you're just going to keep making the same mistakes again. Why apologize when you aren't going to change? Think about that next time you fuck up.

Introductions!

This is my very first blog. I was inspired to create one when I saw a "Julie and Julia" trailer, and one of them (I forget who is who) created a blog to do something with her life. Well my expectations aren't even that high; I just need something to do in my spare time, and since I have no life, I have LOTS of spare time. More than normal people, actually. I highly doubt anyone is actually reading this, but if you are, keep reading! This may not be the most interesting post but there are more sure to come.
First off, I'll start with some FASCINATING bits of information about myself. My name is Stephanie, I'm Asian, I am 16 years young, a senior in high school, and a total music junkie. I am open to all sorts of music (with the exception of rap...I cannot stand that...) and I am constantly listening to music, no matter what I'm doing. I'll put a post later about some kickass bands that y'all should check out. Yes, I just said "y'all"...I live in Texas currently (big change, considering I grew up in New York). I want to go to college here in Texas (I want to be a general surgeon when I grow up) and I do consider intelligence a great trait in a person. If you are one of those people that intentionally act stupid, don't read my blog. I can't stand people like that.
Well I'm out of FASCINATING information right now. I'll be sure to post again. Probably within the next 5 minutes if something worthwhile pops in my head! XD...if you read all this, congratulations! Read my updates! If you didn't read this...well...I guess I'll never know. But screw you! That's all for now. Love you guys! :)